♥
studied at siglap with martin and gracie, martin read thoug, he did more reading then us, hoho, had lunch with martin at secret recipe then went down to meet grace for her ban mian, then went down to star bucks, then to the airport for sara, farewell my dear friend, yup, ok, blah blah, whatever..
oh yeah, everyone grace smells like a baby..
♥
sad eyes never lie.
they really dont. i dont think eyes lie.. if anyone's eyes lie, they must be really good. its the same thing as seeing through a fake smile. for people who smile genuinely, the smile reaches their eyes... see? eyes dont lie. its no wonder they call our eyes the windows to our soul.. they show what you truly feel...
upsetting, if someone's eyes can tell lies. that must mean that theyve been through so much hurt until they protect themselves subconsciously, by willing their eyes to tell lies...
but i think guys are good at that, telling lies with their eyes. and i guess thats probably the reason why someone once told me that i shld never look a guy in the eye when he tells me to, especially when he says he really wants to say something.. okay..i shldnt stereotype, but yeah. some guys do that i guess.. okay, i wont be cynical here, but then, guys are guys right. blah,nvm, im stereotyping again. but then again, girls are getting increasingly good at that too. oh well.
how about voices.. can someone lie convincingly over the phone? i duno... but i guess it would be easier to than lying through your eyes huh.
you can tell whether someone is sincere or not through their eyes, whether theyre telling the truth or not, whether they really mean what theyre saying, but i guess theres nothing definite in this world..
like how some people say that girls are more emotionally needy than guys, but some say the opposite. u know i actually think its guys that are more emotionally needy than girls. youve heard of independent women, who has ever heard of an independent guy? even if he is "independent", he would still be fucking girls. independent in guys terms just means single and fucking around isnt it. in girls terms its not. girls have their girlfriends, their shopping, their whatnot. guys cant communicate properly with other guys about emotional problems, am i not right. they think its gay. so, see. guys need a girl to communicate with on an emotional level = girlfriend.
anyway. whatever..this is all so jumbled up. im talking nonsense.
but remember, eyes dont lie..whatever else do.
i hope my baby gracie had a good one this year... haha. was it good dahling?? :)
anyway, nydc for dindin then to zouk... they were having some hiphop event, so it was hiphop all the way till4am in zouk, then phuture was playing like electronics dunowhat.. not gona go into details, too long and draggy, bottomline:: we had fun!!! yesyes.
we look damn funny in all the pics, but gracie put some up already.. so yeah. back to my place after zouk, macdonalds brekkie before sleep... couldnt sleep also.. ccb my bed was stolen away from me..damnit. got to sleep on my own floor for the first time, wonderful yeah. but oh well.
there're many march babies, next would be ben's bday, then my sister's hur.
the pics have been deleted by request. haha
blah. smoke then sleep.. i have to go to church tmr morning....
♥
went to cheryl's place in the afternoon, met up with dorky... went down to town, had pizza and hung out at cali for a while, sara came to meet us. i hate it when i did nuffin to provoke, pple and they start being rude, calling me a prostitute, is so not true and so rude, damnit. even if i get irritated by u, i dun fucking call u names, really irks me. and the thing is tt i didn't even do anything, didn't even say anything, fuck man. un funny and stupid. weird how ppl get an orgasm to irriate and piss innocent parties off. fuckers.
went down to nydc to meet baby gracie, saw her pouting away, cos we were late. her friends ben and benny came down, apparently i was being rude when she opened her present, i wasn't honestly, i was just yaddering abt how guys dun really know what to get for girls, and either they get another girl to go shop with them, or they really really try their best to get a pressie tt they hope the girl will like, whilst scratching their heads. hmmm, haha, funny...
and then it was off to zouk, i didn't stay, i did the ann thing, just showed my face and ran of fin a cab with martin who was going to the east, ji cheng did the same thing as well, the hello, happy bd, byebye. well, at the very least we shld all turn up and say happy birthday to our darling friends. muah, hope u girls have a great night, get drunk, but dun get into trouble...
okay, gonna get absorbed in my bk, veronika decides to die. now mj isn't taking me away from my studies, but my bks.. oh well, there's alws an excuse, and these two are my great loves of my lifes, besides cheryl, ting and gracie.
♥
u pushed me down to my knees,
bloody and cold.
u took my heart away,
and stabbed me repeatedly,
not realising i no longer have a heart to feel.
inmune to u,
and ur cruelty...
take what's left and use,
use what u need,
i only have so little,
mend your broken heart,
with mine,
and leave...
no particular refence to anyone, just making an emo poem, i'm so emo emo emo emo emo.
sounds pretty sad yeah?? love annabelle and annabelle will adore u for doing so.
♥
a sudden wave of sadness just came over me, feels like it's taking my heart and soul by control, yeah, grace i know i'm cheesy, but i do have a natural flair for drama, i'm the drama queen with the big heart, and extremely narcissitic, haiz...
sad,depressed, shld have went out... i miss vyasa, i wonder what happened. muah, my best guy friend, tt i love... forever and ever. he's funny, and likes me too, no matter what he says.hmmm, shld have went to see handsome boys, bah, oh well, not in the mood, whatever.
stay at home, emo, yup, cos i cant emo tmr, cos it's my baby's birthday gathering, love ya much, gracie wacie...
♥
OH FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, didn't realise it's only two wks to my exams, haven done a single thing, luckily i went to grace's blog, where she went on and on abt her birthday, which is near exams, shite............... no mah jiong, for a mth, maybe once in a while, if u guys love me, alright?? i rejected my first mah jiong game last night, cos i was tired, sick, broke, and nobody wanted to pick me up, ask me to take cab, huff...
Because friendship resides in the heart and not constantly on the mouth, we are able to keep each other close despite the physical miles between us.
It's really funny how we got to know each other despite fate playing a cruel joke on me by making me sit beside chong-L-L and constantly hear her ramble on the two "evil bitches" on the other side of class. Funny how I said to myself that Ann & Cheryl spells TROUBLE in nothing but caps and developed into some defnition for me. Even weirder was how we eventually all got closer despite Cheryl being rather nonchalant by my standards as a friend and how I'd piss Ann off till she doesn't share brownies with me and has a boil erupting on her neck.
But somehow we managed to get close than what society would give us credit for and even managed to cement this friendship in our hearts without a written contract of sorts. (I'm not sure about you YZZ!)
I hope you two know that I love you like no other because you're two very special people to me in your own rights.
Till the end of time, my besties.
GRACE! WORK HARDER!! ;D
♥
I LOVE CHERYL, becos i cannot not love her
I LOVE GRACE, becos she's adorable and quirky
I LOVE WENTING, becos she's alws there for me even though we hardly meet up, but the connection is still there
I LOVE VYASA, becos he's my fav bitchy blackie with a golden heart
I LOVE MARTIN, becos he has a very very caring character
I LOVE GAVIN, becos he nags at me, and want the best for me
I ADORE KELVIN, becos he's the only one in the whole world tt understands me
I ADORE MARCUS, becos he's adorable like grace
I ADORE YUEY, becos he's fun, nice, and he's my fav house partner
pictures at the airport...
i miss yuey alr, bah, sent him off at the airport just now, martin came... the camp boys came as well...
didn't really feel tt sad initially, but seeing him walk in, was sad. bah, hate it when your friend leaves... and yuey has alws been a bright spark in my life, ever since i met him, brightened up my depressed days and well, yeah nights, zouk's nv gonna be the same when u're not arnd, hope u'll get ur interview and so figure out what u're gonna do.. yup, all the best!!! but he's going back for his gf which is gd.. and really really sweet, pics will be up soon, as soon as benny black sends them to me, guess ben feels liek shit now, bah, dun be sad, i'll go to church with u, i promise.
went down to thomson to pick vyasa up, first time he isn't chauffering us around. and vic, his cousin came as well, met gilson and his sweetiepie gf at the pratashop..
then we went down to the airport to settle some stuff, and went down to east coast to play pool,and we got bored, and i got the idea of driving, heh, gave the guys a bit of a shock, got impatient and wanted to go fast, mistook the damn accelerator for the break twice, nearly crashed into a van the first time, kinda turned in time, the 2nd time, was in the carpark, and we wld have crashed, if vyasa didn't have so much faith in me, haha, gd choice, he put the gears to neutral or some shit lidat, heard the engine roar, haha, fun fun, exciting, i probly shldnt be allowed on the roads, but i think it was a pretty gd shot, considering tt it was my first time, i promise to drive u around yuey, when u come back!!! it'll be fun!!! haha
went bak after tt.. yeah... hmm, tired out, but dun really wanna sleep, hate sleeping, yuey's probly like 2/3s there now.. sigh... ...
♥
February 19, 2006
The early part of the day might find you sluggish and indecisive,(yeah, no sleep and mj) Ann, but later on tonight you should be psyched up and ready to go.(soccer,swimming and supper and talk) Today marks the beginning of a new period in which you should work to set your ideas in motion. Action is the key word. Think before you speak and use caution when talking about other people. Make sure your discussions with others about others don't turn into hurtful gossip.(i dunnoe, sigh, evil ann bitched) fuck...
seems like i haven blogged for a super long time.. hmmm, ann's back, kinda busy nowadys, been mah jioning non stopped and haven touched my bks, even kelvin the bummer started studying alr.. sigh
well, finally slept, didn't sleep for two nights str8, mjing, and headed str8 over to meet ben and keith for yuey's party, bought stuff, and tried to make evrything work, i hoped it did. ben did most of the stuff. i'm ashamed, ok, actually he did everything. we kidnapped yuey, put a sack over his head and uhz, it was supposed to be a surprise and i went around warning pple not to tell yuey, haha, i gave the game away accidentally with my usual shoot ahead without thinking.
surprised to say tt it wasn't a drinking party. bah stupid alcohol, we thought it wldn't be enough and shit.oh yeah, GORDON owes me two bucks... u idiot... bet alr, lost, dunwan to pay me, huff.. it's ok. LIVERPOOL RULES, man u suck balls. went for a late night swim with yuey and martin, went back to the room, and left to geylang for supper with yuey and martin, ben wanted to sleep and the rest left. brought yuey there for his virgin geylang supper. went back to the hotel and tried to sleep, but we cldn't sleep. tried watching a movie, but nuffin appealed to us, and so we tried to sleep, and ended up talking from three am to ten am.. hmmm, got a lil tricky at some pt, and heard some stuff tt i am super helpless at. oh well. will think abt it soon, ain't got no time and i still feel alil weird thinking abt it, shocking. yep, shocked me. i guess the time and distance helped, not being a rash pigheaded impulsive bitch, which wld probly ruin everything. but i'm disappointed. u can love a person so much, but yet, u can dislike the person.. sucks. oh well
went for breakfast and watched desperate hsewife season two, and waited for keith to come pick us up.. too shagged to go down to church, i pity yuey and his busy schedule after tt... oh well...
♥
me and gracie spent a night over at east coast with a couple of mats and some bengs. uh huh. we how cool.
hiakz.
anyway. why is everyone watching the liverpool manu match today?! brewerkz.. holland v..and one undecided place.. bahh im staying home today people... my mission to mia for a while is starting. haha. plus, my mummy's happy to see me home today, even though im sick...heh.
yuey!!!! if youre reading this, im sorry i couldnt go down to sentosa... but youre remembered.. yes. muahz. oh btw, ill like airmail your book over hahaha.
♥
i think ann is a bit weird...dahling u say u gotta force yourself here but i see u blogging by the day, long long entries..hiakz.. oh yes, remember our rendezvous yup. lovelove.
anyway. despite not really wanting to go out today, i still went out. grace also said she didnt wana go out,she wanted to go back straight after school but she still went out. bahh. i think im a bit crazy....
cant beat grace though, grace is schizo. hiakz.
shit im so boreddddd, i cant sleeepppp.......
the short one told me to put how can an angel break my heart on play cuz she wants to learn how to sing it but yet she went to sleep. kns. wahwahhhhhhh. bored.
spent valentine's day with of course my dahling, and my 3 other dahlings, and another 2 dahlings. whahahahaaaa. wheres my big dahling..did he go on a date?!! bahh. grace's dahling wasnt there too. we spent valentine's day babysitting..whahahhahaaaaa. imkidding.. :) oh fuck im just bored la okay.
damn i kept getting made fun of today..is today letsallsaysomethingbadaboutcheryl day or something!!!!!!!! HUH!!! i think grace started it, then ben joined in. oh! benny didnt say anything bad about me...hahaha. hmm did reuben say anything bad? i duno..i dun think so.. i got short term memory.... the 3 big culprits today were grace ben n jeremy, kns. i need to complain.... ben even tried to make me fall.. sob. but he bought me something! how u know its what i would get!! know me so well....hiakz.ben ben. reuben bought us chocolates from sin.. enough okay,i wont go pick something out.. love u guys..
its not the price or the size of the present, its the thought that counts.. i dont really care much for pressies..im happy that people would wana get me something already.. its true la. im not just saying this for the sake of saying it you know..yup. whats the point in receiving something huge and expensive, or shiny and expensive haha,if money doesnt mean anything to the person so he just got you something just because he felt he had to,rather than really wanting to get you something.. right.
blahh. okay im going to go water my plant. my mummy bought me this tiny little plant with green rubbery leaves...weird. she put it on my laptop,then when i came back i saw this silly little plant sitting there. quite funny.. oh wells. im gonna take good care of it, it can give me oxygen..i hope it grows..
lalala..still cant sleep. boo.
no pictures frm today...didnt bring my cam along.. i shld get a new camera, really. bleah..if got pictures then can at least occupy myself for a little while...
hello................................
hmmm, plans screwed up, by last night's mj session.. went to the smu rock concert, the bands were pretty gd, me and martin enjoyed ourselves tremondously, the music was gd, the turn out wasn't very gd though, thanks marky for telling em abt the concert, actually wanted to watch a movie after tt, sigh, haven been watching movies recently, i used to hold the guiness bk of record for jc student who watches the most movies. yup, i'm a dvd, movie, coffee (although i dun really like coffee, dun like coffee breath), mah jiong person now... lost quite abit, the most i've ever lost, but zac was pretty nice, he give me his small chips which were quite alot, and gave me a discount. cldn't sleep, thus missing sch, and missing my v day date with cheryl baby and gracie wacy. hmmm, wld have actually went down to yuey's place to cok for him, if i were in own, but sigh, annabelle woke up at 11pm, shucks, what happened to adjusting my sleeping time, i fell asleep at arnd 4 pm, after reading.
martin gave me a really nice present from thailand, happy, thanks dearie... funny how things turned out for us yeah?? used to cldn't stand the sight of each other, and yet now we're gd friends.. :) gavin got me a present too, from thailand, hiakz, he just came back, so sweet, i wonder what did he get me... and tingles going to thailand soon too, at the end of the mth, she asked me what i wanted, heh, not bad, 3 presents from thailand in a mth, tt's pretty cool...
yay for me... :)
dun really like to blog now, kinda feel myself forced to start on the blogger page.. blah, oh well...
♥
i wanna suck ur tits,
kiss ur pussy,
lick ur dick,
fuck u with ur skirt on,
i wanna see a lil bit
then alot, cos it turns me on
oh baby, baby,
yadyadyaydyaydyaydyaydyaydyadyaydyaydyaydyayda, hip hop sucks, for horny bastards like derek, and lil bitches like cheryl and grace. yup, have fun humping each other.
toodoos.... and ashanti is the horniest bitch of them all. no lah, the three above not horny, very nice, my friends, and hip hop lovers are cool.. yeah
house, trance, and even techno rocks, yay man.. muah
♥
one thing tt i learnt from church today...
priority chooses your friends, and your friends can kill you...
and so, for friends tt u only can club with or meet at a club,(not all)... yup, be wary...
i love most of my "evil pastime" friends anyway, mah jiong khakis, clubbing, blah blah, cos we all coffee too, yeah, coffee time, my fav... muah muah muackz, to all the dudes and grace and cheryl and wenting, i heart all of u, cos my priority is to have supportive friends and those tt i'm willing to go out of my way to support... i learnt it the hard way, i recall, i used to have this friend tt we "term" ourselves as best friends in lower sec, and hell, it was for 3 yrs, there were tonnes of back stabbing and shit, i'm glad i got out of tt shit and dragged my 8 yrs and counting bestie, cheryl yeo zhi zhen along, so cheryl, u gotta love me and support me for the rest of your life and it's bloody payment for tt gd deed i did for u.. haha,. no lahz, i'll love and support u alws, yes, i swear... our friendship has been through too much aiz??? i've a lot of good childhood, teenhood memories with u, been thru the bad ones and the gd ones... muah muah...
♥
arloez, ben, yep, i blogged. and i got in my hse, hiakz, hilarious when iw as laughing at u guys i got locked out, i forgot tt i told my parents tt i wasn't coming back, i thought i was staying with martin in his cute blue tent, haha.. they locked the kitchen door. oh well, i called my dad and woke him up anyway, which was a bad choice, cos stupid idiotic daddy dearest, overheard me telling my mum tt i'm going jb with u guys in the afternoon, bah, and then he started coming up with all the weird theories.
1)the desaru killers are coming down to jb to shoot me
2)you guys are going to sell me and maybe rape me
3)i'm going to get robbed
4)we're gonna get hijacked
5)i'm gonna get kidnapped
blah blah blah...
i dun care i'm still going
i'm so freaking amazed, he lets me smoke, drink, let me play mj at my hse at the weirdest hrs, not sleep and go str8 to sch which is in the afternoon, lets me have parties at my place, which consists of mostly all the times, guys, no hanky panky, i just have more guy friends. not come home for a few days str8,come back in the morning or afternoon. let me bring my guy FRIENDS home, to let them SLEEP in ANOTHER ROOM. but they get so freaking anal abt weird stuff liek getting kidnapped by stupid idiots and my stupid bfs, my mum is teh funniest abt my bfs, she critises them when i'm still tog with them, then when we break up, she thinks it's all my fault tt i'm being the bitch, the brat,blah blah blah..
i tell them too many things, although i've gotten into trouble with lots of stuff which i told coming from my own mouth.. sheesh, gotta learn, but i'm such a compulsive big mouth.. bah....
oh well,yeah yeah, m'sia's dangerous recently, lots of news reports and blah blah. whatever, but my friends will protect me what.. cb... i'll like stand int he middle, oh shit, but what happens if i need to go to he female toilet, bleah
oh well... oh yeah, thanks yuey for the fruit punch, and yesh, i drank when i'm not fully recovered... nice party, i like the atmosphere at the box office.. and stupid gordon had a really fucked up hair cut, haha, tim lim too, haha... was fun, blah, ok, going off soon, just came home to collect my passport gotta go support darling martin... he's taking part in the singapore idol, i'm super sure he'll get in.. yay, everyone vote for him kay??? i'm gonna get a line just for him, and super liek dial it a thousand, anyway, i'm the daughter of the stupid man, who called in the donate $1400, using phone calls!!!! to the smtg charity show... yeah, he was laughing and watching the tv at the same time, while dialing the phone too... multi tasking, he thought eh was donating $700.. really shocking when the bill came in... haha.. damn funny, i mean when u write a cheque, it's another thing, but to rack up 1400 by calling the hotline?? haha, it's freaking funny.
ok, tata, gotta get ready what to wear while go karting in JB, and go support martini...
bahz, my friends are leaving, i'm sad..............................................
♥
damn, last night till now has been an absolute bitch for me, went to sch yst, bad mood, grouchy, without sleep, messed up plans, had no idea where to go, i hate having too much choices, one will just do. i'm indecisive. i decided to stick with the boys at mambo billards, then we ate at this awful place at bk timah, which resulted in smtg. bahz...
bahz, kelvin is angry with me, he said he didn't wanna talk to me anymore, after i played him out twice in a day for mj, but luckily, i didn't go, cos ltr at night, at abt 3 am, i woke up from insanely painful cramps. then the nightmare started. i started puking and puking everything out, even my breakfast was out, drat, non stop, i didn't wanna wake my parents up, cos i know tt my mum wld wake up at 6.30, so i foolishly waited and waited, curled up either on the toilet floor puking or on my bed clutching my stomach..
i finally cldn't take it anymore, so i went to wake my parents up, parents went out to get some medication for me, as this is not the first time tt happened, i do have a history of gastricitis.but the pain refusedto go off, i even puked out the medication. my dad sent me to the nearest hospital. mum had went to send me bro to sch... i waited for fucking long, i cried so many times in public, it was just hurting so darn much, the sudden jabbing pain... didn't help tt the doc was poking here and there at my sore tortured stomach. i had to be put under observation for a few hrs due to the consistent vomiting, and low blood pressure. i nearly fainted again... was on the drip, it's so cooling...
the hospital is such a dismal place, sucks... there was this woman next to me, who was crying nonstop and kicking everything is side, she kinda affected me, then i started tearing and telling the nurses tt i wanna be discharged immediately. but luckily, my tiredness took over and i was sleeping like a baby, most of the time, the pain had kinda subsided, the time lapse btn each agonising pain was longer,
slept for a few hrs, was finallyu discharged. yay!!!`
went home, ate and took my medicine, and then fuck, i puked all over the first floor, my god, and i was the only one at home, i tried my best to mop up everything while clutching my stomach.. sad arhz, ann so poor thing...
and u know what?? all these taught me a very good lesson, i must take care of my body, my body system was alr on teh verge of breakdown with all the ridiculous timings and nonsense i subjected my body to, i'm gonna be a social smoker, yup, i'll even try to quit, try to sleep, and eat at regular timings, i do eat, i eat alot, but my eating timings are fucked up weird... yup, and less of alcohol, bahz, cant proply enjoy myself for yuey's farewell party on friday, i'll like have juice or smtg... i wld die, if i had like styomach cancer or smtg, the inconsistent pain, jabbing u over and over again, in a few hrs was like hell to me, it fucked up my mind, i had my control over my pain barrier and cried like a baby everywhere i went. honestly speaking, i wld rather die then go through such pain. yup yup.. arghz, so gotta take very gd care of my body now..
♥
i have more emo and chillout songs in my ipod than hiphop shit now. hiphop is gettin noisy and sounds crappish now.. not all though, i mean i still like hiphop and all, but most of the time now its like i prefer to listen to emo trash. hahaaha.
siannn..i have nothing to be emo about. the one thing that used to make me emo doesnt do its trick no more. i mean its good of course, but cmon lahz, give me something to emo over!! i want to cry. bleah.
oh close your eyes, touch your heart and tell me how you really feel.................
blahblahblah..need to go to school tmr.. yes of course i will turn up,i gotta hand in an assignment tmr, tmr's the deadline,so yeah im being forced to get my ass to school..
and why do some people wanna reach nirvana? is it really such a good state to acheive?? i never really knew what nirvana was until i read 'sing to the dawn', some stupid local lit book.
how do you go beyond suffering? i assume she meant suffering as in, not only physical suffering but emotional suffering as well, i think suffering emotionally is worse than any kind of physical pain or torture..
you learn to stop wanting things, child. first you realise that nothing we touch, or see,or hear or smell or feel will last forever. things we perceive will only pass after a while. flowers fade, parents die, the sun sets. can you understand that? well then, once you realise that things of this world dont last, then you also see that they are not really important. so you learn to stop wanting the ordinary things,and are able to concentrate on the higher truths.
hmmmm.. well, if ordinary things arent important, what is then?? ahh when a man reaches nirvana, he is freed from the wheel of life, of being born, of suffering, of dying. in nirvana there is no suffering, no pain, no rebirth, only nothing.
why?? why no happiness or joy either???
thats the point, child. whats the sense in being happy? in the end you only lose the thing that makes you happy anyway.. nothing lasts forever, you know.
but then again, ahh nobody was talking about it all lasting forever. what is wrong with just trying to make it last a little longer??
hah!! a little longer? what for, child? whats the sense of going through life always dreading the end of some fragile happiness? if you know it will have to end sooner or later, why bother to hold on? why try to clutch onto a passing shadow?
ahh how cynical.... but hmm then again..
sighh. cmon, life is short.. live each day as it comes. no need for seriousness and all that. its all predestined anyway. of course you can try to make something out of nothing, perhaps it will work for you, but if youve tried and lost, then theres no point what. everyone should live their lives the way they themselves should want to, and not be dictated by anyone else. if i cant even do what i want, then thats real cause for not wanting to live. and thats just the way life goes, thats the way love goesss...
i guess maybe i dont seem to believe in love right now.. but i do believe that theres someone for everyone. rosetinted glasses? nah, i just trust that we will all be happily married one day with that special someone, there will be no need to buy anyone cats.. hahaha.
im just waiting for april to come so i can have my holidays....bleah. no more checking edventure for stupid online lects and tutorials.. its such a drag. yes i know, i pay my damn school fees to study at home, so what.
and i wonder when will i ever trust someone to like me enough..
♥
i'm tired, i feel like puking, back from another day's of mj, tt started off from early in the morning, been a huge big mouth, sorry.. didn't mean to, been losing tons of cash and spending shit on cap fares to thomson and back too.. sucks bah, i dun mind losing for mj, but cab fare?? absolutely stinks, i've been seeing orange notes disappearing day by day.. yup... cny started off more than a wk ago, and idiots who owe me cash, insist tt the cash is alr transfered, it's not gd to owe pple money during cny ya know?? bad...
i'm tired, tired out, from the extreme worse than ever night life i've been so used to, due to be acursed insomnia which i can remember since far back from 8 yrs old, even wkdays seem like wkends to me, which kinda sucks.
not lking forward to anything now, everything kinda seem bland to me, the last time i was ever lking forward to anything at all, was paul van dyk, and to no fault of the man himself, it freaking sucked, big time... i dun even lk forward to my stupid bed when i'm so in need of sleep, i dun like sleeping, it feels weird, where hrs of your life just disappear lidat, on a motionless thing, just concussed out there. seems liek u're dead, tt seemed alil too morbid.. blah.
i'm tired and exams are coming soon, i donot have the abilty and stamina to study for it, no mindset to, and i alr fucked up my application to uk big time. i'm sad, i donot know why, maybe cos things are stagnant right now?? or maybe cos i've been too happy, deliriously happy for the past few mths, which just brings the whole world to a standstill suddenly, one can nv be too happy, it's weird, or maybe i'm weird. maybe, just maybe.
i'm happy tt cheryl misses me, and i do too,very much,we just have diff thing now aiz, me and my mj, and perhaps the stupid distance btn us, and my stupid nights out, tt render me too tired to go down and see u and gracie baby. btw the miss u much much was from tim, i donot type tt much. hi tim, i know u're a loyal supporter of the blog, happy to be able to spend more time with u recently, due to "unforseen circumstances" and a guy called russell...
i..i...i.... dunnoe, there's smtg wrong with me right now, or maybe it had alws been. and i dun like it, not one bit. not a single bit.
i think the perfect remedy to all these, is maybe a really gd fantasy bk. yeah, hitting the bkshops soon, been doing quite abit of bedside reading, heh, from abt 7 plus to ten plsu in the morning, before i sleep, and sadly not the guide bks.. shit. oh well. bahz...
i'm tired, and confused.
♥
yoohoo!!!!!1
fucking kubais, hahahhahahhahahahahahahhahahaha
woohoo, i love myself, my body, my music and my fucking mj, suffering from overdose of mah jong, hiak hiak...
i kinda miss my clubbing though, just a lil bit, not too much, heh..
byebye, annabelle is mad...
♥
annie poopie you're still my favouritest emo crackpot and if love leaves you stranded in the pits of hell, i'll be there with you to emo it out okay! and i need to see u and YZZ soon before i forget how you two look like.
tell me, tell me, is life just a playground???
wake up baby, u're so totally deluded...
sigh, i'm not a bimbo.. and wt, u know it. the pink colour is cheryl's stupid idea. oh well.. me is red and gold, heh, bling bling...
oh well, really tired, dun feel like blogging abt blah blah blah, had great fun and company and i miss my girlies, and grace sucks, she wanted to meet me for lunch today, i was late alr, and worse still she didn't pick up my call. nvm...
have fun pple, ann's real tired, and really shagged to be emo, i just wished my itune's functioning proply and shit... so tt i can listen to my kick ass songs. bah..
ok, i love everyone, nighties... the queen's tired, pls no more funny calls in the middle of the morning night whatever, and i mean funny in normal pple's timings, we're just abnormal, sweeties. love ya all.. muahmuahmuackz..
♥
hi my dearest bimbos,
your friend here has just committed social suicide and thus will be resting in peace at great world city. just wanted to inform ann & cheryl that sara is back and to tell grace not to be so emo anymore.
and what's up with the blog? did some genius screw it up? it's takin forever to load now. tag me or catch me on msn laaah.
♥
I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care
What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothings right
I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune tellers right
I should have seen just what was there and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care
I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch
I'm torn
There's nothin' he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right
I'm torn
Chorus
an addiction to emoness, seems like me and gracie baby got it real real bad, sucks, isn't it??
